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What should a family routine be like? It is not hard to get lost in the diversity of opinions on this topic. On one side are parents with a conservative model, on the other side is modern society, which talks about equality, but accepts only the traditional roles of men and women. How important is gender equality in the family? And why is it so hard to achieve?
Many people think that gender equality is about radical feminists and men who are completely subservient to women’s will. Which, of course, is not the case. This is not a battle where there are winners and losers – everyone involved in the relationship between the sexes gets their “winnings. But to do this, we need to figure out where the truth lies and where the fears and stereotypes imposed by society lie.
WOMEN “NEED MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE”?
The previous generation of women has had its fair share of trials. First they fought for the right to education and work, and then they began to struggle with fatigue. After a hard day’s work, all the women in the country would take the second shift at home, while the men watched TV or read the newspaper.
The conservative model assumed for them the role of defender, and the fact that it was peacetime and there was no one to defend them against, it did not matter. But a woman did not dare to leave the marriage, because she was paid less at work, and society pressured her with its condemning gaze.
Today, women can earn a lot of money, they can be successful in society. For them, the traditional “but married” is no longer justified. Yes, they still want to go there, but only on one condition: it has to be good there. And for this they are willing to give up old beliefs and conservative roles in marriage. And men are not.
WHO IS THE MAN?
The modern role of men in the family is incomprehensible to them. Conservatives claim that being a support, protector and provider is their main responsibility. Only they cannot say from what or from whom a woman should be protected. And everything is not so unambiguous with the function of the breadwinner…
In today’s world, these roles are outdated. What will men do if these functions are taken away from them? When they think about it, their fear of losing power and of being ruled by women comes to the fore.
In addition, society is putting forward a new trend: conscious parenthood. Men can now take maternity leave. And many of them have the question, “My job was to conceive, do I have to do anything else?”
In fact, a father does not have to run to maternity leave immediately after the birth of a child
In the first two years of life, first of all he needs a mother. And after that, the father should be involved in the process of education – so that there was a separation from the mother and the baby develops as a person. But many men are afraid of the mere mention of maternity leave – they are not ready even temporarily leave work in favor of the harmonious development of the child.
And above all because of society. It resents, discusses and condemns, thus showing that a family with a father on maternity leave is wrong. Men can not decide what function to take on – so that then it was not painfully embarrassing. So they choose the safest, in their opinion, traditional role.
But sometimes it’s not about society.
A girl can see how the relationship of her parents, where the father provides for the family, gives gifts to mom. And she may expect the same thing from her boyfriend: “I don’t want to decide anything. I want to hold hands and get married.” And he may have already realized that he doesn’t want to take on someone else’s provision, that he needs a partner. And even if this couple can agree to start a family, the issues surrounding the birth and upbringing of children will likely lead them to divorce.
IS THERE A SOLUTION?
At the time of marriage, a couple can succumb to maximalism and chaotically distribute household chores without going into detail. And then in every conflict to measure the number of completed tasks, which will bring the relationship to a new level of misunderstanding. Therefore it is necessary to approach the issue of equality in the family thoughtfully.
You should start with the definition of the right to rest, pleasure, friends and opportunities to build a career. And then there will automatically be a question of how to divide responsibilities. After all, if one partner will drag his work, home and children, then the rest received after all the relief will not bring him.
Multitasking, which has become another modern trend, is harmful to our brain. In particular, it reduces our cognitive abilities and causes chronic fatigue, which leads to depression.
So an equal distribution of rights and responsibilities in the family is the best decision people can make before getting married. This will allow them to maintain their mental and physical health. And that means that everyone in the relationship will be able to realize their social and economic potential and just be happy to the fullest.
